So, I've had a couple comments like, "you remember that you have a blog, right?" so I guess it's time to try again. I have tried to write on this before but a lack of internet made me lose one post and a lack of train of though made me lose the other one! Let's give this another shot.
I could attempt to give an update on the last month or so, but that would take too long and quite honestly, I'm not in a space to do that right now.
Let me spend a little bit here expressing my journey to the choir. Now, yes, I get asked this a million and 7 times at EVERY venue that we go to, "so, how did you get hooked up with the choir?" But, I know that those who read this are on a little deeper level with me than most of those who ask, so here's my real story. There's a reason for me sharing this too ... it's not just out of the blue.
January of 2008, I knew the choir was coming to Moose Jaw (close to where I was going to school) and I thought, ya, that'd be really good to go to. I had NO idea where I was going to be this coming year. I didn't know where God wanted me to be.
I went to the concert and God was working in my heart a passion for this ministry. I went back and talked with the Tour Leader of that choir, not knowing that 5 weeks later, I'd be named the Tour Leader of one of the following choirs. I went through all of the applications / interviews / flights / Welcome Weekends that were required of a new volunteer and received a phone call from Marci, my boss asking me to be the TL of Choir 32. This in itself was confirmation of where I was supposed to be as I'd been praying through this whole process asking God to take away any direction that was not of Him. So, I had my next year all planned out. I'd jump on the road with the ACC and enjoy a year of deep growth and development while building into the lives of Ugandan children ... I thought I knew what to expect for the next 2 or so years at that point .......
My graduation weekend, a friend of mine approached me and told me something flat out that excited me, yet scared me like crazy at the same time. "Andrew, God wants me to tell you that," always a good way to start a conversation, "your next year is going to be a year of sacrifice, but that's ok because God is in control!" This resonated with me, especially because just a few weeks earlier, my father was diagnosed with cancer and I knew that I wouldn't be around for or with my family through that time.
I was able to spend a few months at home with my family this summer (which I wouldn't have traded for the world) but then off to Uganda I went! The first sign of a year of sacrifice was found when I was in Arua (Northern Uganda) during the day of my father's major surgery! Praise the Lord, the surgery went well ... it's just the 2-3 month recovery that wasn't expected or easy to deal with while touring around. Now he's back on Chemo and I'm in Texas for Christmas. more sacrifice.
I never thought it would be so hard to be away from not only home, but also music. Grade 10, Snowflake '03, God spoke to me, "Andrew, I'm going to use you to reach out to the younger generation through the gifts that I give you in music." I grabbed that and ran hard after those dreams that God planted in that time. I started really focusing my passion and heart for worship leadership ... I went to college for a BA in Music with an emphasis in Worship Leadership. I had experiences through that time that changed my life and did nothing but ignite and even bigger flame in me for the hearts of believers who long to connect with God on a deep and raw level. As time went on, I learned about the fact that worship went far beyond music and spread into a life of Justice and Hope for the weak and poor!! A heart for Africa began to stir quite violently. Enough to strip me off of the stage for a year.
Now, I'm not trying to come across as, 'oh whoa is me!' or looking for sympathy at all, in fact, this is a testimony to God's leading in my life ...
'... Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship!' (Romans 12:1). If being the hands and feet of God is really an act of worship, if being a hand to the poor is an act of worship, if pursuing a heart for justice is an act of worship, the I've got to expect that my life is going to be a living sacrifice not just this year but for the rest of my life. There are seasons of fulfillment and seasons of dryness ... I'm not saying this is one of those extremes, but regardless, through those seasons, I'm still going to worship God! I'm still going to praise Him not only on stage through music but with my life.
If I'm truly desiring to lead worship on a large scale for my life, I've got to truly understand what a life of worship is! I have to truly understand what it means to worship God when life is looking like crap!! I have to have a deeper understanding of how God truly comforts those in need! I have to be tested. The life of a leader (and in my opinion, especially the life of a worship leader as this tends to be the front lines of war in the world we live in), I have to be refined by the fires of God, I've got to be planted deeper and deeper in WHO God is so that once the mainstage comes, I'm founded on Him and not fame.
... I know people on my team are reading this (maybe they're the only people who read this anyway), and I don't mind them knowing that I'm a broken leader. When I'm real with myself, I understand that I can't even make the first phone call or deal with the first problem in a day without the strength that God provides. Don't tell them, but I haven't the foggiest clue how to be a leader for 9 other adults (let alone 22 children) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sometimes, when I feel like I'm giving all that I can give, it turns out to not be enough. But praise God for an understanding and forgiving team.
That's where I'm at in tour. Dealing with the refining powers of my God and deliverer, while pressing through the joys and many trials of tour life.
... On days like today, I've just got to trust that I'm doing something right for my team and these kids.
Love you all.
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